either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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