She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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