he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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