Did you just see the Batmobile???
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
