There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
