the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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