i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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