What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
