Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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