just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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