I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
