i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
