so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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