is your mom at the bar?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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