I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
