Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize