You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Rumble strips road head = magical
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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