Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
