and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
its not stalking. its research.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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