Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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