I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
