just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
