How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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