dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
