I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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