Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
