Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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