I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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