i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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