Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
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better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just gift wrapped bread.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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