So drunk its hurt
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
