She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
