Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
