How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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