Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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