so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
