I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i wish my penis had a tongue
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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