I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
