Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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