just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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