Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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