We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
