Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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