uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
