I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
we should paint friendship bongs
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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