dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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