I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
