I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She bit a glass in half.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
