A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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