i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Farmville is her only friend.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
