I'm drive I can fine osifer
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
