I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
