are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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