Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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