im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
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I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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