I'm going to jail i love you
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
