operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
