ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
