I am full of burrito and curiosity
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
