Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.

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  (205): but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule. http://tfl.nu/cjcr
  Replies (3) Good night (939) Bad night (522)
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  (310): View more from California

  just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.

  (310): View more from California

  now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!

  (310): View more from California

  whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?

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  (310): just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy. (310):now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!! (310):whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea? http://tfl.nu/30gl
  Replies (9) Good night (630) Bad night (4660)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It smells like weed.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.

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  (303): It smells like weed. (720): We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed. http://tfl.nu/w4bb
  Replies (41) Good night (3917) Bad night (591)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.

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  (713): She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife. http://tfl.nu/71gc
  Replies (24) Good night (5476) Bad night (683)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.

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  (775): For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven. http://tfl.nu/fqjc
  Replies (38) Good night (1357) Bad night (6679)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited

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  (253): Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack. (1-253): What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited http://tfl.nu/n0ma
  Replies (13) Good night (5426) Bad night (1034)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question

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  (303): No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question http://tfl.nu/r4al
  Replies (7) Good night (3207) Bad night (986)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.

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  (303): Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize. http://tfl.nu/r92i
  Replies (20) Good night (3061) Bad night (823)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.

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  (317): He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry. http://tfl.nu/4jj5
  Replies (4) Good night (642) Bad night (1247)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.

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  (832): I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship. http://tfl.nu/02yh
  Replies (3) Good night (1378) Bad night (510)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.

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  (617): Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it. http://tfl.nu/fza1
  Replies (10) Good night (789) Bad night (1235)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work

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  (850): apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work http://tfl.nu/utr1
  Replies (10) Good night (1048) Bad night (597)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...

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  (267): she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling... http://tfl.nu/2dyo
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (350)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.

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  (505): Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle. http://tfl.nu/hoqs
  Replies (3) Good night (384) Bad night (682)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.

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  (+44): When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public. http://tfl.nu/y1be
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (231)

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