Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree

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  (574): So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree http://tfl.nu/l7gp
  Replies (46) Good night (6053) Bad night (1957)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.

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  (256): I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was. http://tfl.nu/06et
  Replies (6) Good night (3160) Bad night (1085)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?

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  (815): at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar? http://tfl.nu/ozqc
  Replies (6) Good night (1876) Bad night (964)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

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  (+44): Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people. http://tfl.nu/uumz
  Replies (25) Good night (6343) Bad night (1473)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?

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  (541): bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me? http://tfl.nu/wm16
  Replies (27) Good night (805) Bad night (3179)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass

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  (302): His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass http://tfl.nu/wy91
  Replies (5) Good night (1569) Bad night (596)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!

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  (240): The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different! http://tfl.nu/rsm4
  Replies (5) Good night (1306) Bad night (552)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.

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  (757): Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change. http://tfl.nu/iak2
  Replies (4) Good night (709) Bad night (485)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.

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  (912): But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate. http://tfl.nu/0oig
  Replies (4) Good night (804) Bad night (418)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He's the conductor of the struggle bus

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS

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  (413): He's the conductor of the struggle bus (1-413): I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS http://tfl.nu/k1kz
  Replies (6) Good night (894) Bad night (435)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard

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  (708): i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard http://tfl.nu/5qs2
  Replies (2) Good night (939) Bad night (814)
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  (619): View more from California

  I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.

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  (619): I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs. http://tfl.nu/h2q5
  Replies (5) Good night (742) Bad night (396)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.

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  (248): I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious. http://tfl.nu/rvem
  Replies (0) Good night (644) Bad night (366)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.

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  (317): I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me. http://tfl.nu/crpx
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (246)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.

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  (605): Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career. http://tfl.nu/ab52
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (245)

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