you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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