maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
