I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
