That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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