so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
