I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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